Today I hade a awesome day at Rockabillyhouse! Photoshoot! I really really enjoyed the day! Karin made my hair as always and it looks fab✨ some of the looks I hade today or well two of them. I can’t wait to see the result of the photos!
At the moment i don´t know whats up or down right now. And I don´t think the seson know if it´s autumn or spring. The last days it´s have been like a grey november and a rainy one to! My mood is in the same grey as outside my window. I have problem to understand that I´m lonely,I don´t have some one home.And when I get home I don´t have some one who is playing music or a game on the computer. I´don´t have some one to talk to or hug when I get home. My home feels like a shoebox and it´s not my home! It´s my stuff and my table but when I walk in it´s not feels like my home. So to ignore I have been sleeping on the couch home and at my best friend/my parent and have not been home for many night since that day I don´t want to remember. For the last three rainy and grey days I have been in the apartment that is my so called home, and guys it´s like a hell. I don´t want to be there!
But to day I will try for the first time in weeks take all the boxes with stuff and put them into a place. After that I will put my hair up in pincurls. Tomorrow I want to have nice curls or if it´s stil rainy and grey a nice hairdo and a hat on my head! In the middle of this depresed me I can´t look like a hobo or a borring person that just get heart broken….So it´s better to look like a moviestar from old hollywood or like a doll.
Even if he will find a new and share his life with her I know one thing. I made a tatto in his mind and heart. I will always have a place that he can´t ignore or remove. He will keep looking for some parts of me in the other one but he won´t find the pices. Beacuse I´m who I´m and nothing can change it and of course I´m once in a life time women. I will always love him even if I want to hate him I can´t. I can´t beacuse I love him and only wish him good things. Right know I don´t want him to flirt or look at other girls but mayby after a year i can wish him luck to find some one but for now hell no.
But for know I will pretend that I´m all okay and the best revenge is to look good! 😉